Camouflaged

Exercise #3

But let me ask you just one last time. Does this match? Do we

match? Let’s blend in to keep ourselves hidden, protected,

conformed with one another. I know what you are going to

say now. Did I wear this dress for you? The answer is no. Or

maybe it isn’t. Do I look like her? I could be exotic too. I can

say words like cantina. And I know a place downtown that

makes really good carnitas. I don’t smell anything like Colom-

bia though. And you can’t fall heavy in my midnight eyes. Mine

are hazel. My mind is hazel. Muted now for the most part. I feel

camouflaged. Falling apart into everything. Unnoticed. Can you

see me? I lied. I did wear this for you. Who else would I wear it

for? Him? He was just complimenting my legs. Really. It was just

the one time. Can you forgive me? Can we forgive each other?

The universe divides us with invisible lines. Lines crossed. Lines

wrapping around you with gravitational pull. You have a choice.

Here is the equator. Are you coming home? Do you even remember

how to get here from there? I can give you the coordinates. What did

you find in the jungle? Men growing money? Or yourself? It wasn’t

me. I’m here. Disguised as a memory. Your memory. And you can’t

find me. You’ve lost me somewhere in the landscape of your mind.

Are you a sniper rifle? Will you heat seek missile me? Do you care?

I’m over there. Between dream sequence and the part of your brain

that registers pain. This system is making me nervous. Let’s get

out of here. Lose our heads all together. Trade them with strangers.

Go on with our lives unrecognized. Here put this hat on. Doesn’t

that look better?